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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29430699">A not so unrequited love.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/whisperingtales/pseuds/whisperingtales'>whisperingtales</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Last Hours Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Fluff and Angst, I'm Bad At Tagging, Jordelia, Post-Book 1: Chain of Gold, Spoilers for Book 1: Chain of Gold, choi will come out before i finish this fic so read at your own risk, gracelet james, let's pretend they will actually get married, my take on what happened after chog, what happened after the wedding</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:54:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,833</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29430699</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/whisperingtales/pseuds/whisperingtales</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically what says in the tags. I'm really bad at summaries so I'll just say: Post chog. Post wedding. James. Cordelia. A dash of the merry thieves and the rest of the tlh gang. And of course the gracelet will make an outstanding appearance ;)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cordelia Carstairs &amp; James Herondale, Cordelia Carstairs/James Herondale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A not so unrequited love.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello! As I warned in the tags, Chain of Iron will most definitely be out before I finish this fic so read at your own risk. Obviously this isn't what will happen in the book, just my take and what I want to happen on it.<br/>I'm sorry if there's any grammar mistakes, please let me know so I can correct them.<br/>Any feedback, positive or negative, constructive critizism is welcome :)</p>
<p>Hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>It was funny, she thought. How life seemed to tilt its head back and laugh at her. It had given her everything she ever wanted and yet… and yet she felt like she’d remained empty handed. She had wed the man she so dearly loved while he yearned to be in the arms of another. Yesterday had been like a feverish dream: she could still feel the ghost of James’ fingers where he’d touched her bare skin while tracing the marriage rune, his hands on her waist as they danced like they were the only two people in the room.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span> “Cordelia!” Lucie called her name as though she’d been saying it for quite some time.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span> “Sorry.” She had been staring out the window absentmindedly, playing with the lace at the end of her braid.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span> “Is everything alright?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> <em><span>Cordelia’s mother, Sona, and Lucie had decided to be her companions as they made their way to her and James’ new apartment while his parents and Matthew tagged along James on another carriage.</span></em></p>
<p> <em><span>She couldn’t bring herself to tell her best friend the truth, so she attempted to curve her lips into a faint smile and nodded.</span></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span> “I’m just… nervous, I suppose.”  </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> <em><span>Sona smiled warmly at her daughter. “It’ll pass, you’ll see. Soon enough you will have James all to yourself,” she winked.</span></em></p>
<p> <em><span>Cordelia’s cheeks turned scarlet and she directed her eyes to the street outside not only for mere embarrassment but so Lucie and her mother wouldn’t notice her reaction.</span></em></p>
<p> <em><span>If only they knew… That thought alone brought Cordelia to the miserable reality she so thoroughly had been trying to avoid. Her spirits crumbled at the idea of spending a year in a sham marriage with the one who could not love her back with the same affection and devotion that she did.</span></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh, Cordelia, look! We’re here!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> <em><span>Lucie’s cry burst her bubble of thought so abruptly her body shook in her seat. Looking out of the window, she fixed her eyes on the beautiful construction across the carriage, at which Lucie was pointing. Her friend’s excitement made the corners of her mouth quirk up. She admired the architecture the way she had when she’d just come to London earlier that year. Being it such a beautiful place; it was hard to believe she’d be living there in no time.</span></em></p>
<p> <em><span>Cordelia sighed as her mother hurried her out the carriage. But of course she had to stumble out the steps; luckily enough, her own knight in shining armour was already there to catch her.</span></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Thanks,” she breathed.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Of course,” he smiled in that way of his that made her stomach turn.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> <em><span>Matthew was there to behold the exchange and before he quickly greeted her with a grin and rushed to help Will and Tessa with James’ belongings, Cordelia caught a strange glint in his eyes, one she could not distinguish.</span></em></p>
<p> <em><span>The whole group spent the next minutes moving James’ and Cordelia’s possessions, and after a whole afternoon of organizing books and clothes and weapons and accommodating furniture, they slumped down on a long couch that sat in the living room.</span></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m never doing this again,” Lucie frowned.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You barely even helped! You stopped every two minutes to write on your little notebook.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Jamie, the creative process doesn’t know timetables, I won’t ask you to understand that.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> <em><span>To that James only rolled his eyes and Matthew chuckled.</span></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sona, why don’t you accompany me to the kitchen? We can prepare some tea” Tessa suggested.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> <em><span>Cordelia couldn’t help but to narrow her eyes at them. As Anna Lightwood had told her, tea was always an excuse for a clandestine agenda. Not that she believed Tessa and her mother had one, but she was sure they’d bolted to the kitchen to discuss her relationship with James. How typical.</span></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh, I almost forgot!” Lucie blurted out. “I’ve advanced a few chapters on ‘The Beautiful Cordelia’. They’re some of the most decisive ones, I’m so excited for you to read them! Gentlemen, if you’ll excuse us, Cordelia and I have a matter to attend to. Shall we?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> <em><span>Cordelia smiled at her friend’s pomposity and followed her to her new bedroom.</span></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p>
<p> <em><span>The evening passed between tea and conversation and James’ attempts at avoiding marriage talk. By the time their parents, Lucie, and Matthew had bid them goodbye, night had fallen and both James and Cordelia were exhausted.</span></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span> “Finally,” he breathed. “I thought they’d never leave.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span> “Yeah, I know… this whole pretence thing can be consuming.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span> “Uh, no, that’s not what I meant at all</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>—</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>“</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span> “It’s fine, really. We should, huh, we should probably go to sleep.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> <em><span>They summed into an awkward silence until, after taking one look at the solitary bed, knowing they were alone for the night, James declared he’d be taking the guest room and gave her a sleepy smile, before he left Cordelia to her own thoughts.</span></em></p>
<p> <em><span>No matter how many times she checked the clock, the hours wouldn’t go by. Cordelia kept tossing and turning but sleep wouldn’t come claim her. She didn’t know whether it was because she wasn’t used to being away from her family or because she felt like she was living another’s life; and the awareness of James being only a few feet away from her, and yet so far, did not help. Her whole body felt strange, the fire crippling in the fireplace didn’t ease the cold in her soul. She couldn’t help but wonder if it’d ever get easier, if the wrongness of it all would ever fade away.</span></em></p>
<p> <em><span>Cordelia sighed as she got up from the bed and stalked to where James was sleeping, though she stopped in her tracks realizing she had no clue on what to say to him. She paced outside his room until mere courage made her knock. No response or movement answered her, so she took the liberty of swiftly opening the door. James was lying sideways on the bed, his rumbled hair sprawled on the pillow, the moonlight pouring through the window illuminating his beautiful features now softened by the uninterrupted sleep. Such a shame she felt like waking him up.</span></em></p>
<p> <em><span>Cordelia cut some distance, within reach of James’ hand if she wished to grab it. She hesitated; she felt a seven year old again, awoken by nightmares, seeking comfort in her parents’ bedroom. But she was not seven years old anymore, and this wasn’t her parents’ bedroom.</span></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span> “James,” she whispered.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> <em><span>He didn’t even stir. She only went so far as to touch his shoulder and stepped back when he whirled and turned, though he didn’t open an eye. “James!” she raised her voice no more than a tad, to not startle him.</span></em></p>
<p> <em><span>Too late.</span></em></p>
<p> <em><span>A fraction of a minute later, Cordelia had her back to the wall, eyes widened, a blade to her throat. She yelped.</span></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>  “By the Angel, Daisy!” He lowered the knife and discarded it on the nightstand as soon as he recognized her.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span> “Sorry! I didn’t mean to unsettle you.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span> “What are you doing here? Is everything alright?” Then he frowned at the absence of a response. “Is there something wrong?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> <em><span>She avoided his stare and focused it on the floor instead, a faint blush creeping up her cheeks. Not that James would notice anyway, not under the lack of illumination.</span></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span> “What is it, Daisy? You know you can tell me anything.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>  “It’s quite silly, actually,” she huffed a nervous laugh.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> <em><span>He waited for her to continue. For a moment she didn’t, so he took her hand in his to inspire confidence. However, that only made her blush deepen.</span></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span> “I… I can’t sleep and, and I-don’t-want-to-be-alone,” she blurted and then widened her eyes as if realizing what she just said. Cordelia moved out of reach while excusing herself, mumbling her apologies.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> <em><span>James, taking in her words, snapped out of the surprise and hurried to take hold of her wrist.</span></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span> “Daisy, wait. You can stay here if you’d like.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> <em><span>Cordelia glanced at the bed, big enough to comfortably fit one person, but two…? “Are you sure?”</span></em></p>
<p> <em><span>“You’re right. The other bed is bigger.”</span></em></p>
<p> <em><span>If she was taken aback by his comment, she didn’t show it.</span></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>… </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> <em><span>They both lay face up on the bed —far enough not to touch each other—, staring at the ceiling, when all of a sudden, Cordelia broke into laughter.</span></em></p>
<p> <em><span>James half turned to face her, amusement dancing in his eyes. “What is so funny?”</span></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span> “Sorry.” she managed to get out mid laugh. “I can’t believe I just- I’m so sorry”.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span> “Don’t be,” he chuckled. He was going to say something else but the sight of Cordelia laughing so carefree, like he hadn’t seen her do in so long, took the breath out of him. He realized he’d been staring at her and quickly looked away. “We’re going to have to get used to this, you know? By tomorrow we’ll be in the company of a maid, and if we don’t want to get caught on our ruse we’ll have to be careful. Maybe starting by sharing a bedroom”.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> <em><span>At that she stopped laughing. “I’m sorry, James.” Seeing the confused look on his face, she clarified, “I’m sorry that we have to do this, and for dragging you into this mess.” He started shaking his head. “If you don’t want to go on with this just say the word, we can call it off, we can—“</span></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span> “Daisy, I’m more than willing to do this. And I’m so grateful for what you’ve done for me, please never think of this as a burden. You ruined yourself for me; I’m just returning the favour. It’s the least I can do.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> <em><span>Her only answer was a small, yet heartfelt smile.</span></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why did you do it?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Do what?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> <em><span>He gave her a knowing look. “You know what.”</span></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Well… we are friends, are we not?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes, we are.” James, clearly not satisfied with her response, waited for her to go on.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> <em><span>She sighed heavily. “You burnt down the manor, James; you knew your punishment wasn’t going to be lesser. Knowing what could happen to you, how that would destroy your family, our friends…” she shook her head. “I just had to do it.”</span></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“No one’s ever done anything like that for me before.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sure they have. Matthew and the others have saved your life countless times, your parents covered for you and the thieves on your shenanigans, and my cousin Jem has helped you with your shady superpowers”.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> <em><span>He snorted.</span></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Daisy, I mean it. Thank you.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> <em><span>She shrugged. “Now you’re stuck with me.”</span></em></p>
<p> <em><span>He locked his gaze on hers. “I like being stuck with you.” The ease and sincerity with which he said it… Cordelia had to look away.</span></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I think we should really sleep now, it’s late.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes, of course,” he paused. “Goodnight, Daisy.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Goodnight, James.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> <em><span>The two of them were in such awareness of each other’s presence with such little space separating them, that despite being tired, none of them was able to conciliate sleep. At least for a very long time.</span></em></p>
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